Remembering as a Spiritual Discipline

A reflection on the role of memory in our faith journey. Sometimes we have to look back in order to have faith for what is yet to come.

Jun 14, 2024

red flowers on field during daytime — Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Hey friends!

I was listening to a comedian talk about the weather the other day and I’m going to quote him as he’s nailed down summer in London perfectly.

Paul McCaffrey says in his most recent Instagram reel:

“So this is basically the weather now, every day, exactly the same, 6:30am-9:00am, sunny, then at 9:15am — the point at which you have either committed to shorts, a t-shirt, flip flops for the day, or bought food in for a BBQ — it will cloud over. The wind will pick up and you will say ‘I think I just felt rain’ for first of about 300 times today. The temperature will settle at about 12 degrees [54 degrees F] and it will stay like that until just after you’ve been home to change into a hoodie and jeans, then there will be three breaks in the clouds where the temperature will rise to about 45 degrees [113 degrees F] for just long enough for you to sweat like a pig. It will then be cloudy until about 6:30pm at which point you will opt for something a little bit more weather appropriate for dinner, something like a casserole, which you will probably eat in front of the fire under a blanket, and then at 7:30pm the sun will come out. It will actually be a pleasant evening and you’ll think, it might actually be a nice day tomorrow.”1

Ah UK summer, you are so fickle.

Sometimes we can be just as indecisive. We want to trust God, but then we try to take over; We want to have faith for things, but then we doubt; We want to know that God is who He says He is, but then the human side of us feeds into unbelief.

What do we do when we are stuck in this cycle? Well, we remember. Sometimes it’s our history with God that becomes an important tool in our faith journey. We must remember in order to hold onto hope — in order to have faith for the big things. This is not new, in fact people throughout history have constantly used memory to help sustain them in the most difficult seasons. Today I want to talk with you about memory, and along the way, we will venture through Psalm 77.

So, let’s dig in together.

Sometimes it is memory that builds our faith as we wait for God’s promises to be fulfilled — this is an ancient practice.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself waiting on God for something. I wrestle back and forth in those days of waiting, but God’s response is always the same: “Do you trust me?”

Every time I relent to my own lack of faith and God asks me this question, I feel a slight sting of sadness. Of course I trust you.

In those moments of weakness when I give into my insecurities or doubt God’s goodness, I have to turn back to my history with him -- I have to turn to memory. And when I do, God always brings me back before moving me forward. He shows me a reel of all the ways He has been faithful — memories of all the times He showed up for me over the course of our relationship. All the ways he has protected me, provided for me, and paved the way. All the ways He orchestrated incredible things behind the scenes to place me somewhere.

Sometimes I see God’s goodness all around and other times, I cling to memory and remember who He is and what He has done. At times, I have to dig deep and recover His goodness which always lives within my heart. Because He is faithful — He’s always been.

In Psalm 77, the Psalmist reflects on the anguish of waiting on God, and eventually holds onto the memory of God’s good works to believe the Lord will keep His promises. We often live in this same cycle. Something breaks us— a disappointment, a death, a heartbreak, a dream deferred, another closed door — and we sit wondering when God will come through and fulfill His promises over our life.

The Psalmist cries out, “Will the Lord reject forever and never again show favor? Has his faithful love ceased forever? Is his promise at an end for all generations? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”2

The Psalmist is crying out to God in desperation. Where are you? Where has your favor gone? At times our human tendency to doubt God inevitably comes crashing in. Our external realities don’t show us God’s goodness in the land of the living, the promises we have been waiting for seem to be further away than ever, and we think, is God really with me?

It is in these very moments that we, like the Psalmist, must turn to memory. We must remember the ways God has moved in our life before. We must cling to stories of God’s character, of His goodness, of His mercy and grace. We cling to them with every shred of strength we have left to keep a flicker of ember burning, knowing that soon, the fire will reignite again.

In my own journey, I’ve often had to look back. I’ve had to reflect on all that God has accomplished in my life in order to get me where I am today. In Psalm 77, after spending the first three stanzas lamenting and doubting God’s hand on his life, the Psalmist confesses his grief and turns to remember who God is.

He says, “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.”3

The Psalmist doesn’t say, “I can” or “I should”, he says, “I will”.

Remembering is a discipline.

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to turn to our memory of God when we don’t see the fulfillment of His promise just yet in our reality. This decision to shift his focus is a turning point for the Psalmist — he focuses on who God is and recounts memory after memory of His good works, strength, and faithfulness. And through this act of remembering, His faith is restored.

Memory is a faith practice and through this lens, remembering becomes a spiritual discipline which helps you shift your focus back onto God.

The second the Psalmist turns to his memories of God’s goodness, power, and sovereignty, the whole tone of the Psalm shifts - our lives are not so different.

Although we have the Holy Spirit living within us, a beautiful gift from a loving Father, we still have to cling to memories at times to hold onto belief for the things we hope for but do not yet see. And, when we slow down and focus on God’s goodness, when we pause to remember who He really is, He shows up for us and gives us His peace, which really does surpass all understanding. We get this infilling of hope as we make our way through the memories of how He has moved in the past.

I’ve been having so many conversations this week about what it looks like to trust God when you are in a season of waiting, and they’ve all ended the same way – I have to remember what God has already done to get me here and these memories help me have faith for what I hope for and do not yet see.

As I shift my focus back on Him, the tone of everything changes. Like the Psalmist, my eyes fix on God and not on my problems, and my heart is changed in the process. The way I speak changes. The way I encounter difficulty changes. Everything shifts within me.

The gift of faith arises out of a memory.

But, it is a discipline. I have to choose to remember what God has done.

The best thing about keeping a journal is that it opens up a door to look back. I can’t tell you how many times I have been praying to God, asking for answers, pleading with Him about something, and He’s whispered to me to look back to what He’s already said — to remember what He had told me, promised me, and shown me.

When I listen and look back in my journals, I often find His encouragement pulsing through the pages. God is always speaking, sometimes we just have to turn back to what He’s already said.

I’ve now made remembering a regular practice in my rule of life. Once a month, I look back on the previous month and like a large scale Examen practice. I remember what God has done in the month before. I go through my journals and put sticky notes in areas that highlight things I need to be reminded of. Doing this regularly helps me remember who God is and where He is – always deeply involved in my life’s story as He orchestrates so much behind the scenes.

What are the memories you have of God’s goodness in your life that you have to cling to today? Is there a promise you are waiting on that you need a bigger dose of faith for?

Look back.

Set aside some time this week or weekend and remember what God has done, remember who He is, and how much He loves you. Maybe it’s the memories which will build your faith in order to navigate a season of waiting.

The Poetry Nook

The following poem tumbled out of a period of wrestling with God in unanswered prayer. It was a season of two steps forward, three steps back. Every time I kept seeing my longing so close to fulfilled, it would crumble again. I had to cling to memory in order to persevere and have hope for all that God had in store for me.

A Promise Fulfilled is the Tree of Life