Unearthing Calling: Exploring Identity

What is calling? What does it have to do with identity? Why does it matter?

Mar 19, 2024

Hey friends!

Spring has officially sprung in London, well almost, today it’s raining, but this weekend was beautiful.

I’m writing to you off the heels of an incredible weekend, and not just because of the weather. This past weekend, I had the pleasure of co-producing the Wise Well Woman Summit, which was a Christian women’s leadership conference here in London. I also led a workshop at the conference on tuning into God’s voice for calling and identity, and it was so much fun!

For the next few weeks, I want to talk to you about calling and identity in more detail, and I’m excited to hear your thoughts. So, let’s get right into it…

First, a reflection on calling and its relationship to identity.

Calling — we hear this word a lot and to be honest, depending on the day, it can make us feel empowered or it can make us want to run for the hills. We want to like this idea of calling because we see its close proximity to purpose and identity, but sometimes it causes us more stress than joy. What am I called to do? What is so special about me? Who am I called to be?

Growing up, my parents worked really hard to build a good life for my siblings and I. My dad worked at AT&T for a stretch then went on to open his own construction business, which he eventually had to close after several years. There was a window of time where my dad didn’t earn much, but he never gave up. He worked hard to open another small business which, in time, became a success. My mom stayed home and raised us while we were young and then she went back to teaching when we were old enough to attend school. She worked as a special education teacher and learning consultant at a secondary school not far from where we lived.

My mom and dad worked hard to ensure there was always food on the table, money for school trips, and summer camps. We certainly weren’t wealthy growing up, but my parents saved and used what they had to create a nice life for us.

Like many millennials, I grew up with the mindset that I could be anything I wanted to be. When my parents entered the workforce, it was during one of the biggest economic booms the U.S. had ever seen. My parent’s generation was earning much more than their parents could have ever dreamt of.

In light of this, I was told time and time again — you can be anything you want to be, you just have to work hard at it. You can do anything you want to do, you just have to work hard for it. In the view of this mindset, nothing was off limits. And, of course, this was true in many ways in the white, middle class life I grew up in. With the privilege I was born into, I went to a great public high school, I lived in a safe town, and I was able to attend university. Along the way, I was taught that I could be whoever I wanted to be. The trouble was, I hadn’t a clue who I was. How could I decide what I would do when I didn’t even know myself?

You see, calling is not something we discover once and that’s it. It’s not something we randomly pick out of a bag and roll with. It’s not something we select off a menu of choices. Calling is something deep within us. It is woven into our identity. It is a journey back to the person God created us to be — the me that was designed before time began, before I was born, before I drew my first breath.

As a Christian, two of the most foundational truths we hold is that each person on this planet is deeply loved by God and created as a unique image-bearer of him. I know this can be hard to believe when there is so much evil in the world, but stay with me here.

We are each born to bear the image of God in a distinct way. We’re born with gifts and personality traits and character that is unique and intentional. The trouble is, just as there is pure goodness in God, there is also pure evil in this world. An evil whose entire mission is to stop each and every one of us from finding our way back to that true birthright identity we were born with. The second we are born, that evil looks at ways it can creep in. For most, this chipping away happens slowly through lies or false narratives, through wounding or pain, through rejection or abuse, or a myriad of other ways our inner spirit is hurt — all of this is the work of pure evil, none of it is God’s intention or design.

Along the way, we pick up masks to wear. We carry false selves to protect us from the world. We take on identities and names that aren’t really true to who we are but feel safe or necessary. We do this to survive sometimes, or other times we do it out of choice or out of disordered desires. Regardless of the reasoning, we do all of this without even realizing that it forms us and so often we lose our true selves in the process.

It just happens.

This certainly was the case for me. I searched my entire adult life for identity and purpose that felt true and right. Along the way, I took on a lot of names, wore a lot of masks, all in an effort to find myself. I did all the things culture promised me would fulfill me — I partied hard, lived life to the fullest, I traveled, I maxed out on experiences — and yet, none of it brought me close to an identity that felt like me. I wore confidence on the outside, yet on the inside I felt incredibly insecure and alone.

It was only until encountering Jesus that I realized what I was missing. It was only through joining a faith community and beginning an inward journey to discovering who God created me to be where I found real hope and purpose. I know it sounds cringey — believe me I know — but there is nothing that has been more true.

My life now is completely different since opening the door to God. It hasn’t been without difficulty because life is not without difficulty, but my identity has never been more secure. My life has never been more fulfilling. I have never felt more loved and valued and worthy. I have never felt more purpose. I have never felt more hope. And, I have only just begun this journey.

When we look at calling through the lens of identity, we are called to find our way back to the beginning. We are called to reset ourselves to the manufacturer setting. You see, your ultimate calling in life is to get back to God’s design of you – to discover who you are in him, how he hardwired you, how he created you, your truest self before the world and culture and darkness crept in. It is only through this route to calling that you can then discover what you alone can contribute to the world.

David Benner writes one of the best books on discovering your true self that I’ve read, it’s called The Gift of Being Yourself. He writes, “Love is our identity and calling. For we are children of Love. Created from love, of love and for love, our existence makes no sense apart from Divine Love”(47). And when we go on the journey with God to discover our true selves, the self we discover “is the self that was loved into existence by Divine Love. This is the person we are destined from eternity to become – the I that is hidden in the I AM”(102). We discover our potential, our limitations, the light we carry and the shadows, our unique gifts, our voice. We discover our true self. And, only then can we begin to unearth calling.

So, the more important question to ask as we begin the journey is — who am I? Who does God say that I am? This is the beginning, and if you are willing to take the journey inward, God will reveal a clear understanding of who you are uniquely as his image-bearer. Out of that knowledge, you can then begin to see how your true self can meet the great needs of the world. Your calling is born out of your identity.

This is the journey of calling – it is along the path of identity. So, how do you begin? In the weeks to come, I will share what this journey has looked like for me. I also hope you decide to join me on the course I’m developing on calling and identity which will launch later this year. Stay tuned for more information!

2. Benner, David. The Gift of Being Yourself. IVP Books, Illinois, 2015, p.102.

Poetry Nook

The following poem is one that I wrote during COVID lockdown. At the time, I was desperate to know the depth of God’s love for me. My husband and I were going through a really difficult season; I was still pretty new in my faith journey; I was lonely and rundown. I really needed to know God loved me and was present. I really needed to be reminded that he was there — that he was always there.

After writing it, I read it aloud so many times when I was alone. It was incredibly healing. Somehow the words when spoken aloud moved from my head to my heart in the most beautiful way. Perhaps you can read it aloud over yourself today and know the truth and depth of God’s love for you.

Before Time Began